‘My favourite biblical story is the story of Jacob wrestling with the angel. It appears to him as a faceless shadow, and all my opponents embody him. Regardless of win or lose, I always emerge a new man with a new name. Bigger and better than before. Having shed a skin and moving away, as Mark Kerr says, with one extra rattle on the tail.

I can live with bumps and bruises. Broken bones heal in a matter of weeks. What I can’t live with is shame and doubt. I know that they will suck my blood like a tick for years afterwards, the shame of having not had the courage to push things to a definitive, unassailable conclusion.’